Don't Get Caught in the Undertow

addiction anger anxiety depression emotional health mental health resilience self-care self-sabotage stress stress immunity reboot trauma

We all have unseen wounds of one sort or another. These wounds can limit our freedoms: the freedom to think clearly, the freedom to reason and discern effectively, the freedom to feel peace, and the freedom to choose how we respond to any given circumstance. The danger of these restraints on our mental and emotional freedoms is that we can get caught in the undertow of reactivity and fall down the slippery slope of panic, anger, and blame.

Don’t give in. Don’t get caught in the undertow. The world is in a bit of chaos, but we don’t have to get carried away in its turmoil and treachery. The more we clarify our internal space, the clearer our windshield of life will be. We can make sure our view is projecting from our wisdom, not our wounds and from our love, not our pain.

How do we do this? By being brave enough to see the chaos and tumult inside of ourselves. As much as we don’t like to talk about it, we are a world of traumatized individuals. Our traumas--big and small, sudden and persistent--add up and color how we see the world and our place in it. We can begin to feel powerless, worthless, vulnerable, and even invisible. But, we don’t like to think about these things. They’re uncomfortable.

We need to find answers to our pain, and the problem with not looking inward for resolution is that we end up looking outward to blame. We feel the need to blame someone for our pain because the idea that the pain is somehow caused by our actions or is evidence of our vulnerability is just too much to bear. But the problem with needing someone to blame is that we will never feel relief, because the solution to our pain is not found in laying blame on something or someone. In fact, it only deepens the wounds and leaves us more lost.

Another problem with looking for the external culprit for our pain is that anger, and sometimes panic, begins to fester the longer we seek solutions without success. We can begin to feel hopeless that we’ll never find the villain and receive recompense. Often there is no villain, at least no villain that could be punished to satisfy our craving for resolution and justice. And so the pain persists.

The only real, substantive answer is to look inside ourselves. We must look inside with patience, forgiveness, and love. We must learn the lessons of the wounds and allow them to change us. Only this honest, compassionate introspection can lead to true healing. Only being willing to let go of the pain, anger, and fear will open the doors to relief.

So, don’t get caught in the undertow that leads to further hopelessness and pain. Accept the offering of the life preserver that is made of love and wisdom and healing. Free yourself from the wounds that hold you hostage to seeking blame or vengeance. Let go of the pain and lean into the stronger you. I see you. I honor your struggle, and you are valuable to me.

If you need help resolving your pain, reach out to us. We can help.


*Photo by Allan Watson from Pexels

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